Thanks to Mark Pfenning, a divorce lawyer and author who has published many articles geared toward helping parties through the divorce process. His recent article, Divorce Courtroom Tips, provides some helpful strategies and a useful summary of the basic rules of decorum in family court. Here’s what Mark has to say:

  1. Settle Some Things. This means the judge won’t be in control of everything.
  2. Expect Unfavorable Decisions. There are three directions the judge can go when making a decision: Your way, your spouse’s way, or the Judge’s way. As you can see, two out three are not in your favor.
  3. Let Your Divorce Attorney Do the Talking. Do not speak unless asked to do so by the Judge.
  4. Respect is an Absolute. When addressing the Judge with respect by addressing him/her as “Your Honor.”
  5. Don’t Address Your Spouse. Never speak to or make comments to your spouse when you are before the Judge.
  6. Check Your Emotions at the Door. Do not make faces or gestures when the judge or your spouse’s attorney is speaking. Judges see this and do not appreciate it.
  7. Dress for the Occasion. Your attorney will have a certain strategy on how he/she wants you to be portrayed. Therefore, consult your attorney on how he/she wants you to dress.
  8. Write. Don’t leave anything to chance. Your attorney will be very busy during the process and cannot remember or write everything down.
  9. Come Prepared. Bring as much information, documentation and any pertinent documents that you possibly can with you. It is better to have too much ammunition than not enough.
  10. Be Ready to Wait. You will sometimes wait for hours before your case is called.

Good suggestions. We would also suggest leaving all digital devices in the car. We recall a lawyer whose cell phone rang in the middle of his intense cross examination of our client in a recent trial. The more memorable impression was the expression on the judge’s face.