An FENE involves a half-day session (or two, or three, or four) with a court-appointed neutral. This neutral typically is an experienced family law attorney, or a CPA familiar with the financial issues involved in a divorce. The parties, and their lawyers, sit down with the evaluator very early in the case - in an effort to catch people before they become too embroiled in conflict, or stuck in their position.

The process begins with the exchange of information, to ensure that there has been a full and fair disclosure of all income, assets and liabilities. A balance sheet is often created, which defines the universe of assets and debts, attributes value, provides a basis for the value, carves out any non-marital claims, and then allocates the relevant item to one of the parties. Once all allocated assets and debts are added up for each litigant, the cumulative value for each should be equal. This is typically the least controversial portion of the FENE, but can take some time.

The more controversial portion of the FENE involves the issue of spousal maintenance. With the assistance of the evaluator, the income and budgets of the parties will be scrutinized. A range of possible outcomes may be discussed, and recommendations may be made by the evaluator concerning the amount, and duration, of alimony in the event that the judge is left to decide the issue. Settlement discussions begin with that opinion as a backdrop.

Why does FENE work so often? A few points:

• The parties have direct conversation with one another, and the evaluator, in a natural way. A far cry from the robotic "question and answer" method of introducing evidence during a trial.
• The rules of evidence go out the window at an FENE. Any issue is up for discussion, empowering participants to voice their real-life concerns.
• Emotions may be taken into account at an FENE. Issues concerning "fairness" and "hurt" may be addressed as part of the process. Frankly, the law of "no-fault divorce" precludes alot of this in the courtroom.
• The process can be therapeutic. People feel like they can speak their mind, and they are listened to. Sometimes all a party needs is to be heard by someone. 
• Spouses have to look each in the eye as they discuss the issues. Very different from sitting 25 feet apart in the courtroom, facing front.
• There is a real sense that the parties can "get it done" during the process. Litigants believe that closure has real value, and may be worth a compromise.
• The process is a respectful one. Most evaluators know how to keep tempers from flaring.
• The evaluators, not the lawyers, control the agenda. Both parties feel they are on a level playing field. 
• Opinions matter. Litigants afford substantial weight to the perspective of the evaluators. They know the evaluator has no stake in the outcome, and the experience to back up their opinions.
• The neutrals are forced to "show their work." What I mean is that the parties are literally walked through each of the elements of the case, together, and hear the same thing at the same time. They see how the opinions of the evaluator are created right before their eyes, giving them more credibility.
• The surroundings are comfortable. There are no robes, no gavels, no court reporters, and no security. Just people sitting around a table, with their favorite beverage, talking.

As time goes on, I suspect the FENE process will gain statewide acceptance. Most of the counties in the Twin Cities metro area have adopted such a program. Why wouldn't they? With a 3/4 reduction in divorce litigation, everybody wins....except those lawyers whose practice model is based on "dog fight" mentality. But, who's feeling sorry for them anyway?

Yes. I try to help clients gain some perspective about the dissolution process, and their feelings. I'm not heartless. I want to be there for them. But, at the end of the day, the honest truth is that my ability to provide professional advice on the emotional component of divorce is limited.

Robert Mues, divorce lawyer and editor of the Ohio Family Law Blog, recently collaborated with Donna Ferber, noted psychotherapist, and "switched roles" to discuss the importance of each other's role during the divorce process.

Attorney Mues writes:

The therapist is not trained in the law, and I am not trained in psychology. We each have distinctly different roles. A good therapist can help a client deal with all the changes in a relationship that are affected by divorce—children, parents, extended family, in-laws, and friends.  The therapist can help the client figure out priorities for the future, deal with anger issues, or help clarify why a person has quit advocating for themselves. Also, therapists can help prepare a client for Court through role playing. The therapist will work with the client to design a plan individually tailored to the emotional needs of the client.  Often times this is different from “marriage counseling."  

Therapist Ferber offers the following tips:

1. Just because your friend had a good experience with an attorney doesn’t mean they are the right one for you. Trust your gut.
2. Pick a specialist. While they may be more expensive per hour, they have more experience and in the long run will be both cost and time effective.
3. Aggression doesn’t insure a “win”. An overly aggressive attorney may fan the flames of conflict rather than move toward resolution.
4. Pick an attorney who understands this isn’t about “winning”. She/He should understand divorce is about a major change in the family and that more than the “bottom line” will be affected. A good family attorney is willing, when necessary to work with your therapist. He/she is focused on the family’s post divorce situation and understands the interconnectedness of the family does not end with the dissolution of the marriage. In short, they can see the “big picture”.
5. A consultation is like a first date, what you see is probably what you get. Don’t pick someone who minimizes your concerns, is sarcastic or dismissive. Don’t ignore your own radar by dismissing his/her behavior in favor of excellent credentials.
6. Don’t use your attorney as a therapist. And don’t use your therapy time to talk about legal issues. Efficient utilization of your professionals will keep costs down, provide you with better information and effective support.
7. Don’t withhold information from your attorney because you are embarrassed. They aren’t there to judge you, but if you don’t give them the information they need, you cut down on their ability to effectively represent you. Don’t assume drinking, abuse or affairs are not relevant even if you live in a “no fault” state. Underreporting or minimizing can result in your not getting the best settlement. ALWAYS tell your attorney if there are weapons in your home.
8. Try to stick with the facts. The emotions get processed with your therapist.
9. Talk frankly about costs up front and what you will be charged for.
10. Finally, be clear the court is not going to reward you for pain and suffering. Settlements aren’t based on how betrayed or rejected you feel. Keeping an objective attitude regarding the legal system can play a big part in keeping your expectations realistic.

Thank you both for your perspective.

There are other professionals we often refer clients to, including financial planners, mediators, parenting consultants, realtors, mortgage brokers and auto dealers to help with getting life back on track. Each has a unique role to play during this time of transition. It really does pay to find someone who is compassionate and understands your needs following a breakdown of your marriage. Perhaps at some point we can post insight from these folks as well.

Whether your case is contested, uncontested, settled, or requires a trial, certain procedural requirements must be met in order for the Court to execute a divorce decree.

Topics addressed in this pocast include include pure default hearings, default hearings by agreement, in-chambers review and matters addressed by the Court following a trial.

Run Time: 14:01

Galbraith writes:

It teaches kids what happens when their parents separate in an entertaining, online way. The tour says "A walk through Changeville will tell you what to expect and help you deal with all the different feelings you might have and along the way there's all kinds of fun games and activities!"

Legal words and how kids are looked after is explained on Legal Street. On Break Up Street, kids learn what can happen during the process when their parents are going through rough times. There also is a section where kids can create some art.

What a great tool for kids.

Nothing but respect for Galbraith. Appreciate the creativity behind the crafters of Changeville. But, after a stumble down "breakup street" in a "fun online world," I found it strange to type in my feelings about being in the "messenger trap." Kind of like a visit to Epcot Center, and taking a ride on the "The Story of Meat." Something just seems out of place.

Am I off base? Anyone try it and love it?

Attorney Jason Brown answers the questions we're asked most often by new divorce clients.

Topics in this podcast include the length of a case, the costs of a case, venue, the need for a lawyer, contested versus uncontested divorce and concealing of assets.

Run Time: 14:59

• Child Custody;
• Parenting Time
• Child Support;
• Property Valuation;
• Property Division;
• Debt Division;
• Spousal Maintenance; and
• Attorney's Fees

Depending upon the preference of the mediator, and the parties, the mediator may work with the participants in one large group, or may bounce back and forth between two conference rooms.

The mediators that we utilize are experienced family practitioners with specialized training in alternative dispute resolution. Fees for mediation are typically split between the parties. Mediators charge an hourly rate for their services.

Mediation is a much less expensive option than traditional litigation, and leaves the parties in control of the case outcome. The case may be resolved much quicker and the relationship between ex-spouses tends to be much more respectful after reaching a collective settlement. Children are the direct beneficiaries of this improved level of communication.

For these reasons, we strongly encourage our clients to participate in the mediation process. Our commitment to those we represent involves taking the least expensive road to resolution first. Certainly, if we can't settle a case, we're prepared to take it to trial. But, most clients appreciate our common sense approach to concluding the dissolution process. 

The survey revealed that only after a year and half are divorcees really ready to move on. Six of ten people surveyed said the hardest thing to overcome was the sense of failure and 5% of those surveyed said even several years after the divorce they were still trying to come to terms. In total, a fifth said they will never truly get over a divorce and 55 percent said it was the worst thing they had ever gone through. The survey of 4,000 divorcees was carried out by the dating website www.fifties.com, which is caters to those 50 and over.

The survey also revealed startling differences in divorcees' reactions to the news their marriage is officially finished. Although 43 percent felt relieved when their judgment came through, 31 percent were sad that it was over. Another 16 percent even said they felt distraught. The article states that while it might be an average of nearly 18 months before divorcees are totally content, they start feeling better about their life after 16 months. Around this time, it appears that divorcees start dating again. Fifty-eight percent of those surveyed arranged a meeting through friends and twenty-eight percent tried online dating sites. Also, about 49 percent of divorcees would rather meet someone who has had a similar experience.

Read the entire article referenced by Chau here.

I'm not surprised by the results of this sampling. I would guess that in more than half of the cases we handle, the final hearing is extremely difficult on our clients. I can't count the number of final appearances we have made with a client who, in responding to rather simple questions from the court, breaks down in tears. Those are the times that are the toughest as a family lawyer. It's also why I choose to focus in the area. While many of my law school classmates represent insurance companies or handle tax issues (and deserve respect for doing so), I have the privilege of helping real people every single day through very difficult, life-changing situations. For me, that is personally fulfilling.

Here is my brave attempt, as an amateur psychologist (took 101 in college), to offer some advice on bringing closure following the final drop of the gavel:  

• Recognize that it is normal to have a multitude of feelings, such as sadness, loss, guilt and anger, following divorce. You aren't strange to feel a little confused and there are many out there who feel the same way.
• Don't fight the feelings you have. Once you accept that you aren't in a position to "control" your thoughts, you can work toward healing.
• Accept that you may not have an "A" game in place for a while. Don't be too hard on yourself.
• Share your feelings with others you trust, such as family, friends, clergy or therapists. Or, find a good divorce support group. We all learn the most from each other by hearing another's difficult story.
• Stay positive. Keep in mind that things will get better as time goes on. You've already hit bottom, so the only place you can go is up, right?

The wasted time and cost associated with hunting down missing documentation can be staggering. We've handled cases where everything from an expensive diamond ring to boxes of business records have taken a bit a "vacation." We almost always find them, but not without substantial effort. In cases where they are not found, the Court will impose substantial sanctions and assume the missing evidence is favorable to you.

To help avoid the mess, we've assembled a list of 12 things you should gather to ensure that you have all of critical information in hand before your spouse has a chance to conceal, transfer or sell items. These include obtaining:

1. Copies of financial statements;
2. Copies of tax returns;
3. Copies of computer hard drives;
4. Copies of insurance policies;
5. Copies of wills and/or trusts;
6. Inventory of safety deposit boxes, with a witness;
7. Copies of deeds and/or titles to real property;
8. Copies of small business ledgers, financial journals, payroll, sales tax returns and expense account records;
9. Copies of appraisals for art, antiques, jewelry and collectibles;
10. Record the contents of each room in your home through video;
11. Copies of retirement account statements; and
12. Copies of your spouse's pay stubs for the last few months.

Investing some time in gathering these items will ensure that your spouse cannot take advantage of you during the divorce process. The denial of the existence of an asset is a fraud upon the Court. Once your spouse knows that we have all of the key information in hand, they are far less likely to engage in bad faith conduct and be honest in their disclosures throughout the process.

Here are of a few excerpts:

Recession and divorce, it is said, go together like carriage and horse. Those who labor in Splitsville have several explanations for why that might be. There's the lawyer theory, that money provides the soft fatty tissue that insulates the marital skeleton; once it's cut back and people get a good look at the guts of their relationship, they want out. And there's the marriage-counselor theory, that couples who were never quite on the same page in the checkbook finally get pushed off the ledger by endless bickering over their dwindling resources. And the therapist theory, that financial worries cause stress, stress can cause depression, and depression is a total connubial buzz kill. 

The two assets that typically need to be divided are 401(k)s and the family residence. But suddenly 401(k)s aren't worth as much, and that home whose mortgage was the mother of all argument starters is not an asset at all. It can't be sold - or at least not for a price that provides money to start over. Instead of working out who owns what, lawyers and mediators are trying to figure out the fiendishly trickier conundrum of who owes what. "We're negotiating debts - not assets," says Henry Gornbein, a family-law attorney in Oakland County, Mich. "Two, three years ago, I'd be telling you that houses had equity, and you'd either be doing a buying out or selling the house and splitting whatever the proceeds were. Now it's the reverse. You go into court; the judges just don't know what to do."

Therein lies the dilemma.

Not long ago, people had lots stuff (equity in homes and retirement accounts) to divide. No more. The vast majority of homes involved in a divorce are mortgaged for more than market price (perhaps 80% of our present clients find themselves in this situation) and retirement assets are worth one-half of what they worth a year ago. Tax what's left (oh, and penalize another ten percent for early withdrawal), and then begin to discuss the $20,000 marital credit card debt outstanding. Not a pretty picture.

The good news for families (children in particular) is that we are seeing a sharp increase in a more respectful, uncontested approach to divorce. I don't know if that's because there's nothing to divide, or because people don't have the resources to litigate.

Couples seem to be in the mood to work together. Some agree to keep one spouse in the home, but both continue to split the mortgage payments and ride out the market. They might be able to sell and break even (or even yield a profit) in a few years. Others remain business partners, in a sense, renting out their home when they vacate with a plan to sell when the market picks up. Others are agreeing to let the home go into foreclosure and banking money along the way. Still others are working with the lender to arrange for a short sale.

Elsewhere in our Blog, you will find information concerning property division, home foreclosure, bankruptcy and uncontested divorce. Always best to learn as much as you can about your options going forward.

The following settlement checklist will come in handy as you attempt to figure out if you've got all of your bases covered:

1. Legal Custody: Joint or sole legal custody?
2. Physical Custody: Joint or sole physical custody?
3. Routine Access Schedule: Where will the children be on a given day?
4. Vacation Access Schedule: How many weeks of uninterrupted vacation time with the children?
5. Holiday Access Schedule: Who do the children celebrate with in a given year?
6. School-Year Breaks: Where will the children spend spring break or President's Day, for example?
7. Telephone Contact: What are the rules concerning communication with the children by phone?
8. Transportation: Who will transport the children for parenting time exchanges?
9. Basic Child Support: What is the amount of guideline support to be paid?
10. Medical/Dental Child Support: Who will insure the children and how will uninsured costs be allocated?
11. Child Care Support: How much will each parent pay for daycare?
12. Security for Support: Should one or both parents secure life insurance, naming the other as beneficiary for the benefit of the children?
13. Income Tax Exemptions: Who claims the children on their income taxes?
14. Spousal Maintenance/Alimony: How much and for how long?
15. Medical Insurance: Will each party cover their own?
16. Marital Property: What is a fair and equitable way to value and divide marital property?
17. Non-Marital Property: Does the holder of a non-marital interest retain that interest?
18. Pre-Separation Debts: How is the marital debt divided?
19. Post-Separation Debts: How are debts accrued after separation divided?
20. Fees and Costs: Will one party pay, or each responsible for their own attorney fees and costs?
21. Name Change: Does either spouse wish to change their name?
22. Ongoing Conflicts: Will the parties agree to mediate or use a parenting time consultant if future problems arise?
23. Documents: Do each agree to execute all paperwork necessary to transfer property interests?
24. Non-Disclosure: Does the court retain the ability to re-open the case if it is revealed that one party has hidden assets from the other?

Naturally, there are many other issues that will need to be addressed, but the 24 items listed above will give you a general framework for discussion.

Here are eight tax tips to keep in mind as you move forward with your divorce:

1. Child Support. Child support is not income to the recipient and is not deductible for the payer. Keep this in mind if your spouse is seeking alimony. Child support payments that they receive are not taxable and, as a result, increase their net income each month dollar for dollar. As a result, the "need" of your spouse will be diminished and you may be able to argue that their imputed gross income exceeds their gross pay coupled with untaxed child support.
2. Alimony. Alimony is income to the recipient and is deductible for the payer. High income earners can reduce their taxable income by paying alimony. If your spouse's tax bracket is low, the government winds up picking up the tab for a good share of the alimony obligation.
3. Sale of Homestead. The sale of the marital homestead usually does not involve a taxable event. Capital gains (up to $500,000) from the sale of your marital homestead are not taxable if you've lived there for two of the last five years. Nor is a transfer of title to the residence, allowing your spouse to keep some or all of the equity. Many couples opt to forego alimony payments in, instead, pay a disproportionate property settlement to their spouse. In other words, they "buy off" alimony by giving a larger share of home sale proceeds, or equity, to their spouse. The result? No tax implications for either. Ideal for alimony recipients in a high tax bracket.
4. Filing Status. The status of your marriage on December 31 of the relevant year determines whether you file as single or married. If you are divorced by that date, you file as single for the entire year. If your case appears to be coming to a close near the end of the year, best to speak with a tax preparer about the consequence of holding up at bit or expediting matters. We find that courts are usually willing to facilitate bringing matters to a close by the end of the year if tax implications in doing so are substantial.
5. Dependents. While the law provides that the custodial parent is entitled to claim the relevant dependency exemptions, most couples agree to share them. Offering a non-custodial parent the right to claim the dependency exemption under the condition that their child support is current at the end of the relevant tax year provides them with incentive to keep current with payments.
6. Child Care Credit. Custodial parents who incur work-related child care costs can deduct up to 30% of the cost. It is for that reason that the child support guidelines usually require a custodial parent to assume responsibility for a greater share of daycare expense.
7. Liabilities and Refunds. Taxes owed, or refunds received, are usually treated as "marital" and are, therefore, split equally among the parties. In the heat of the moment, some spouses will intercept a tax refund and cash it without the other's knowledge. All funds must be accounted for and it is likely that if they do so their share of the final property settlement will be reduced proportionately. Because income is "marital," a tax liability is a shared responsibility.
8. Attorney Fees. Any fees paid to a lawyer for tax advice are deductible. Ask your attorney for to break out all billable time devoted to tax issues and you can save big.

Keep in mind, the Internal Revenue Code is constantly changing and you shouldn't rely on this post as the final word in your divorce tax planning.

If you involve a CPA in the team of professionals working on your case, they are sure to attack your situation from a unique perspective and offer creative ways to reduce your tax burden - leaving more money on the table for you and your spouse. Those extra funds may just be enough buffer to get your case settled.

• Conference call with client within one week of receiving client questionnaire.
• Preliminary marital termination agreement (MTA) to client within one week of conference call.
• Client dictated edits and revisions to MTA completed within one week.
• Opposing party dictated edits and revisions to MTA completed within one week.
• Remaining pleadings drafted within one week of approval of MTA from opposing party.
• Meet with parties within one week of completion of all remaining pleadings.
• File with the district court within one day from execution of all pleadings by parties.
• Judicial assignment notice received within two weeks from filing.
• Schedule hearing, if necessary, within one day from receipt of judicial assignment notice.
• Attend hearing as scheduled by court (usually 30-60 days) or await signed order (usually 30-60 days).*
• Notice of Filing drafted and mailed within one week from receipt of final order.

A divorce can be a painful and difficult experience, but if you understand the functions and limitations of the legal system, the process becomes less frustrating. It is our hope, as Judges of Family Court, that this pamphlet will give you a better understanding of the process, and help you get through your divorce with realistic ideas and goals.

Minnesota’s divorce system is based on the principle of “no-fault,” meaning that a dissolution will be granted if either party believes that the marriage is over. Generally the causes of the failure of the marriage are not an issue in court. All that matters is that the marriage needs to be ended.
It is impossible for us to heal the emotional wounds created by your divorce. You must understand that the legal system is not a tool for punishment of your spouse. The courtroom isn't the place for revenge. We must decide your case on the basis of unique facts. In most cases, the law does not permit us to compensate either of you for the other’s misconduct.

Settlement

The best way to conclude your case is to settle it. Through compromise and cooperation, a settlement can lead to greater mutual satisfaction and lessened animosity between you and your spouse. In most cases, negotiations toward settlement can be more productive and far less expensive than trial. If negotiations fail and you must try your case, we will make rulings that will permanently affect you and your children. Our rulings must be made exclusively upon the limited evidence that is presented in court, and nothing else. Because we are restricted in what we can and cannot do, a settlement can offer a wider range of options. Ask the court administrator for information about mediation programs. A mediator is a neutral person trained to help you and your spouse reach a settlement.

Variations

Every dissolution is different. Your results may be very different from your neighbor’s, friend’s, or relative’s. You cannot rely upon what happened in their cases and assume that your results will be the same. Cases that seem similar may, in fact, be very different and will be treated differently under the law. For this reason, you should look to your lawyer for your legal advice and information. Your friends and relatives usually do not have a grasp of the law and your case, and accepting their advice may hinder you in the long run.

Finances

In the marriage dissolution, the income, assets and debts accumulated during the marriage must be allocated between you and your spouse. The law is that you and your spouse are financial partners during the marriage and are presumed entitled to share in both the assets and income the partnership made. You must make a full disclosure of your finances. For most people, life-styles change after a divorce. Since divorces do not create property or income, we must divide the marital resources between two separate households. It costs more to run two households than one. If you or your spouse have not been employed during the marriage, it may be necessary to seek employment. In considering a settlement, you should consider whether you can afford the attorney’s fees to fully litigate your case. Fees and costs in contested cases can be quite high. Usually, a settlement prior to trial reduces the expenses considerably, an important consideration if you come to the divorce with limited resources.

Issues

Dissolutions generally involve four major issues: child custody and parenting time, child support, spousal maintenance and a division of property and debts. After the case is concluded, we may later be asked to modify custody, parenting time or support. You need to understand each of these aspects of your case.

Child Custody

Both parents and their children may be required to attend an education program before the dissolution is granted. The program will help you understand what affect divorce has on children, and how you can make the transition less traumatic for them. Remember, your marriage may be ending, but you will always be parents to your children. Most parents will share parental responsibility for their children after the dissolution. In doing so, you must communicate and confer with each other in making decisions that will affect your children.

Usually, we will give one parent primary residential care (custody) of the children. Unless there is a good reason to limit parenting time, we will grant the other parent frequent parenting time. We decide custody solely on what is best for the children. Often, one of the parties is hurt by our decision, especially if that party sees the decision in a "win/lose" light. In truth, there can be no loser if the children’s welfare is protected.

In virtually all custody contests we will direct both parties to participate in mediation to resolve that issue. A mediator is an unbiased third party who can often assist the parties in reaching agreement upon what is best for the children. An agreement on custody will certainly make your case easier and help your children immeasurably in dealing with your divorce. If domestic violence has occurred, the Court cannot require you to participate in mediation.

If an agreement regarding parenting time is not reached, a custody study may be ordered, with costs assessed to the parties.

In cases where child abuse or neglect is alleged by a parent during a dissolution, we must appoint a guardian ad litem (GAL) to represent the best interests of the child with respect to custody, support and parenting time. A GAL may also be appointed if the court believes the conflict in the case presents a potential hazard to the child’s welfare or the child’s interests are not being adequately served. The GAL is to conduct an independent investigation into what would be best for the child and to advocate for the child’s best interests. GAL’s must maintain confidentiality of information, monitor the child’s best interest throughout the proceedings, and present written reports to the court on the child’s best interests. If a GAL is appointed, you are likely to be assessed a fee for their services.

Child Support

Aside from continuing to love your children and seeing them often, you have no higher obligation as a parent than to continue supporting your children after the divorce. Child support is more important than any other debt or financial obligation. Both parents are required to support the children but the non-residential parent will be directed to pay his/her portion of the support to the other. This does not mean that the residential parent is not contributing to the support.
Minnesota has adopted guidelines for child support that we are required to follow. Your friends and relatives may have been involved in divorces years ago or in other states and receive or pay higher or lower support than our guidelines provide. The child support in your case will be based upon the incomes of both parents and the needs of your children under the guidelines established by the State. It is possible to deviate from the guideline amount but you must prove that the deviation is legally justifiable.

Spousal Maintenance

We find it necessary to award spousal support in some cases. As with child support, we will consider two factors: one party’s need and the other’s ability to pay. Both of these factors must be proven in court by the requesting spouse. Spousal support may be awarded to either a husband or wife and, depending on the length of the marriage and other factors, the spousal support may be permanent or for only a short duration.

Property Division

Under Minnesota law, we must try to make a “fair and equitable distribution” of marital property and debts. “Equitable” does not always mean “equal.” Many factors, including child support, custody and spousal support awards, can cause us to make an unequal (but still equitable) division of property. We will not generally divide the property and debts that arise outside the marriage.

Attorney’s Fees

We can order one party to pay some or all of the other’s attorney’s fees. We do this to assure that both parties have equal access to competent counsel. We do not award fees in every case, we must first find that one party has a greater ability to pay than the other does.
You cannot ever be certain that we will award fees. For this reason, and because of the great drain that fees can be on marital assets, everyone (parties and attorneys alike) should make every effort to resolve a dissolution case as economically as possible.

Do Not Write Letters To Your Judge

We are not permitted to read letters containing facts or allegations about your case, nor can we speak with you or your friends/relatives on the telephone. If there is something we need to know, inform us by scheduling a hearing and filing motion papers.

Have Reasonable Expectations

You will certainly be disappointed if you expect to “win” on every issue. Rarely is either party happy about every ruling in a case. Even the best rulings leave both parties somewhat dissatisfied. Encourage your attorney to give you a realistic projection of the outcome of your case.

Keep Communication Open With Your Spouse/ Former Spouse

As long as children are involved, you and your former spouse will have to work together. Your children will suffer to the degree that you and your former spouse cannot communicate or cooperate.

Get Professional Help To Deal With Your Emotions

Please do your best to keep emotions out of the case. Your feelings of anger, pain, and betrayal are understandable, but expressing them inappropriately in court may interfere with your ability to provide us with the information we need. If you have trouble with the hostility, anger, or depression that often occurs in divorces, don’t hesitate to get counseling to help you through it. A good counselor can help you, and your children, get through this difficult time and avoid having the anger become counterproductive.

Encourage and Support Parenting Time (Visitation)

If you are the custodial parent and the court has ordered parenting time between your children and your ex-spouse, you have a duty to encourage parenting time. You must do more than just stay out of the way or leave the choice to the children. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently and to enjoy the contact. Never use support or parenting time as a lever or bargaining chip in dealing with the other parent. However, if mental health, chemical dependency, abuse or other issues arise and you think your children are not safe with your ex-spouse, seek professional advice on what to do.

Give Your Children a Chance

The way you and your spouse handle your divorce will have an enormous impact upon your children. If you argue and fight, their problems and pain will be magnified. By acting reasonably, you can help your children through one of the most difficult events of their lives.
 

The most common expert we employ is a home appraiser. In most cases the most valuable asset for division is the marital homestead. If one party elects to remain in the homestead we must calculate the equity in the house to determine the value of the property settlement. Naturally, the first step to establishing equity involves the determination of the market value of the property.

A typical homestead appraisal costs around $350. They take approximately one (1) week to complete. Many clients ask if a realtor’s market analysis can substitute for an appraisal. If the parties agree, a market analysis is sufficient. However, a realtor’s market analysis does not hold the same evidentiary weight as a certified real estate appraisal. For that reason, the appraisal is usually preferred.

Suppose you are 40 years of age and your union pension indicates that at present you qualify to receive $1,000 per month at age 55. Those benefits, despite the fact they are not yet realized, have an economic value. It is the job of an actuary to calculate that value. Clients are often shocked to realize that their pension interest, in terms of present dollars, totals several hundred thousand dollars.

If the pension interest was accumulated during the marriage, it is subject to equal division. This may be done by a cash off-set or an award of future benefits to each party. If the cash buy-out is contemplated, then we must know the present value of the benefit. An actuary typically charges a couple hundred dollars for their services.

If custody is a contested issue in your case, a custody evaluator will be appointed by the court. This individual typically possesses a degree in psychology or social work. The custody evaluator will meet with each party individually, and meet with them in the presence of the children. They will gather documentation such as medical and school records involving the children. Custody experts often speak with counselors that might be involved with the family. Parents will often refer the evaluator to several acquaintances who can speak of their ability to affectively parent the children.

The process of completing a custody evaluation typically takes several months. Once all of the necessary information is gathered by the evaluator, a report is generated that addresses the information gathered in relation to the standard for an award of custody in Minnesota – the best interest of the child. These reports are often twenty (20) or thirty (30) pages in length and may include painstaking detail about the family situation. The final part of the evaluator’s report includes a series of recommendations. Most often, the court will adopt the recommendations of the evaluator.

There are two types of custody evaluators in Minnesota: court appointed and privately retained. There is no legal distinction between the two, but a private evaluator will typically charge more than $10,000 for their services. In some situations, a private custody evaluation will be done much more quickly than an evaluation conducted by court services. If court services performs the evaluation they, too, charge a fee. But it is typically much less than the fee associated with a private evaluation. 

We frequently employ business appraisers to ascertain the present value of a business owned by one or both of the parties to a divorce. There are a number of ways that a business appraiser calculates the market value of a particular business. The evaluator will look at the overall business revenue, profits, assets and marketability of the business.

The cost for a particular appraisal varies depending upon the nature of the business being valued. In most situations, a business appraisal will cost between $5,000 and $10,000. Once the appraisal is concluded, the evaluator will present a written report. The report will include the various formulas utilized for determining market value and offer an expert opinion concerning the value of the business based upon dozens of factors that have been taken into account.

In cases involving spousal maintenance, we often employ a vocational assessor. This individual is asked to evaluate a spouse’s capacity for employment and potential annual earnings based upon their educational background, skills and the market place. The person being evaluated will be asked to spend the day with the vocational assessor. An interview takes place and the individual is asked to complete a series of psychological tests, including the MMPI and other skills tests.

Once the evaluator has opportunity to get to know the individual, they will generate a report that discusses the skills and abilities of the individual, along with a host of potential careers that are available to them. The assessor we retain will take into account market conditions specific to the Minneapolis area. A vocational assessment typically costs approximately $1,500. The conclusions drawn by the assessor provide significant evidence for the court to consider in light of a request for spousal maintenance.

The foregoing experts are the most frequently retained individuals to assist our clients through the divorce process. Certainly there are others, such as vehicle appraisers, psychological experts, chemical abuse experts, accountants and others. The costs associated with retaining many experts is substantial. For that reason, we work very closely with our clients to balance the costs of the involvement of an expert against the benefit that we hope to realize in retaining that individual.
 

As I mentioned earlier, our work in this area is not rocket science. But, it is serious enough to warrant the involvement of someone who can make sure that it is done promptly, efficiently and, most importantly, correctly. The adage is, indeed, true: You get what you pay for. Due diligence in hiring an attorney to assist you will help you avoid the countless traps that you will have to avoid in order to successfully bring your divorce to a conclusion.

One highly unique aspect of family practice is the fact that the litigants, unlike basically all other lawsuits, often continue to speak with one another (and even live together) during litigation. Sometimes that can be productive - if the parties are discussing issues in good faith. Other times, one spouse is simply trying to play games and get inside the head of the other. My suggestion? Don't get your legal advice from your soon-to-be ex.

Here's the answer: Title to property is essentially meaningless in divorce court. Minnesota law defines marital property as anything accumulated by the parties during their marriage. Marital property is subject to equal division. The timing of the purchase, not the title, dictates the ownership interest for purposes of a divorce.

Of course, the law recognizes non-marital property, which is not subject to division. Non-marital property has a very specific definition. For the sake of this post, understand that nowhere in the definition of non-marital property is the concept of "marital title" addressed. Unless a piece of property was brought into the marriage by one spouse or received as a gift to one spouse but not the other during the marriage, the property at issue will likely be divided equally among the parties.

At this point in time, compromising probably doesn't seem like the best thing to do for yourself. Nor is it the best for your lawyer's pocketbook. But, a lawyer who truly has your interests in mind will attempt to position your case for settlement and speak with you about how to approach a case in a sensible manner rather than unnecessarily drive up the costs of your case through contentious litigation. We often say that any fool (referencing the attorney) can turn a $3,000 case into a $30,000 case. Aggressive lawyering typically yields greater fees and much of the time it simply isn't necessary. 

Unfortunately, in some cases we can do nothing but litigate. We've been there many times and enjoy trying cases. This entry is not intended for parties who have been victims of severe domestic violence or whose children are in danger while in the care of their other parent. In those situations, and others, we must take a very aggressive approach. However, the vast majority of cases do not involve such situations and can be resolved much less expensively (in terms of dollars, time and emotions) in a manner that is consistent with what the court will ultimately do with the case if asked to decide. 

Consider how your soon-to-be-ex feels about things. Think about your children. Discuss solutions that work for everyone involved in the case, not just you. Most importantly, it is irresponsible to intentionally create or fuel ongoing conflict during a divorce. In our experience, clients who are bitter, angry and relentless in their approach wind up hurting themselves and living with much more pain than those who come to the table with a sense of flexibility and reasonableness. We find they are also far less satisfied with the legal process.

We are not suggesting the divorce process will be easy for you. Everyone knows that it is very difficult to make reasoned decisions in the middle of an emotionally charged situation. It is our job to help with that. We understand you may hurt because of infidelity, irresponsible spending on the part of your spouse or chemical dependency issues. But, the bottom line is that the court does not care about such things, unless they have a direct impact on the welfare of the children. For that reason, it is important to focus on the things that do matter to the ultimate decision-maker in your case.

We find the couples who resolve their case through settlement feel much better about the result. They own the agreement. They haven't been told what they are going to do some person in a black robe. They conclude their case in a much shorter time frame than expected. They have more financial resources to draw on in the future. And, most importantly, their children seem to benefit from the fact that their parents, despite the dissolution, have found a way to work things out. The experts agree that divorce is a very stressful and difficult time for the litigants. But, those same experts also agree that it is even more stressful and painful for children. The longer your case lasts, the more harm will be done to your children.