Minneapolis Divorce Attorney & Lawyer : Minnesota Family Law Firm : Brown Law Offices : St. Paul, Twin Cities MN Custody Child Support

Depending upon the facts and legal issues involved in your divorce, a number of experts may play a role in your case, including a home appraiser, actuary, custody evaluator, business appraiser and vocational assessor.

The most common expert we employ is a home appraiser. In most cases the most valuable asset for division is the marital homestead. If one party elects to remain in the homestead we must calculate the equity in the house to determine the value of the property settlement. Naturally, the first step to establishing equity involves the determination of the market value of the property. A typical homestead appraisal costs around $350. They take approximately one (1) week to complete. Many clients ask if a realtor’s market analysis can substitute for an appraisal. If the parties agree, a market analysis is sufficient. However, a realtor’s market analysis does not hold the same evidentiary weight as a certified real estate appraisal. For that reason, the appraisal is usually preferred.

Another expert we commonly retain is an actuary. An actuary is an accountant with specific knowledge on the formulas utilized to calculate the present value of various retirement interests. Aside from a house, the most valuable assets that the majority of couples possess are their retirement accounts. Some accounts, such as a 401(k) plan, are easy to value. A recent statement will tell us the value of the account. However, pension interests have a present value as well. Suppose you are 40 years of age and your union pension indicates that at present you qualify to receive $1,000 per month at age 55. Those benefits, despite the fact they are not yet realized, have an economic value. It is the job of an actuary to calculate that value. Clients are often shocked to realize that their pension interest, in terms of present dollars, totals several hundred thousand dollars. If the pension interest was accumulated during the marriage, it is subject to equal division. This may be done by a cash off-set or an award of future benefits to each party. If the cash buy-out is contemplated, then we must know the present value of the benefit. An actuary typically charges a couple hundred dollars for their services.

If custody is a contested issue in your case, a custody evaluator will be appointed by the court. This individual typically possesses a degree in psychology or social work. The custody evaluator will meet with each party individually, and meet with them in the presence of the children. They will gather documentation such as medical and school records involving the children. Custody experts often speak with counselors that might be involved with the family. Parents will often refer the evaluator to several acquaintances who can speak of their ability to affectively parent the children. The process of completing a custody evaluation typically takes several months. Once all of the necessary information is gathered by the evaluator, a report is generated that addresses the information gathered in relation to the standard for an award of custody in Minnesota – the best interest of the child. These reports are often twenty (20) or thirty (30) pages in length and may include painstaking detail about the family situation. The final part of the evaluator’s report includes a series of recommendations. Most often, the court will adopt the recommendations of the evaluator. There are two types of custody evaluators in Minnesota: court appointed and privately retained. There is no legal distinction between the two, but a private evaluator will typically charge more than $10,000 for their services. In some situations, a private custody evaluation will be done much more quickly than an evaluation conducted by court services. If court services performs the evaluation they, too, charge a fee. But it is typically much less than the fee associated with a private evaluation. 

We frequently employ business appraisers to ascertain the present value of a business owned by one or both of the parties to a divorce. There are a number of ways that a business appraiser calculates the market value of a particular business. The evaluator will look at the overall business revenue, profits, assets and marketability of the business. The cost for a particular appraisal varies depending upon the nature of the business being valued. In most situations, a business appraisal will cost between $5,000 and $10,000. Once the appraisal is concluded, the evaluator will present a written report. The report will include the various formulas utilized for determining market value and offer an expert opinion concerning the value of the business based upon dozens of factors that have been taken into account.

In cases involving spousal maintenance, we often employ a vocational assessor. This individual is asked to evaluate a spouse’s capacity for employment and potential annual earnings based upon their educational background, skills and the market place. The person being evaluated will be asked to spend the day with the vocational assessor. An interview takes place and the individual is asked to complete a series of psychological tests, including the MMPI and other skills tests. Once the evaluator has opportunity to get to know the individual, they will generate a report that discusses the skills and abilities of the individual, along with a host of potential careers that are available to them. The assessor we retain will take into account market conditions specific to the Minneapolis area. A vocational assessment typically costs approximately $1,500. The conclusions drawn by the assessor provide significant evidence for the court to consider in light of a request for spousal maintenance.

The foregoing experts are the most frequently retained individuals to assist our clients through the divorce process. Certainly there are others, such as vehicle appraisers, psychological experts, chemical abuse experts, accountants and others. The costs associated with retaining many experts is substantial. For that reason, we work very closely with our clients to balance the costs of the involvement of an expert against the benefit that we hope to realize in retaining that individual.

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Whether you decide to contact our firm or speak with another attorney, you should probably speak with a divorce lawyer about your situation before utilizing the various free online divorce forms that are scattered across the internet. My suggestion is in line with every district court judge I have encountered.

As an attorney, you can imagine I find myself in the courtroom quite often. Nearly every time I’m in court, I sit through cases in which the parties are attempting to divorce themselves without the assistance of a lawyer using legal forms they downloaded from the internet. The vast majority of these couples are turned away by the court for a failure to comply with the various legal requirements that must be satisfied in order for the court to accept their written submissions. Frustrated, having missed work for a second or third time, and getting no legal advice from the court, individuals that initially hoped to conclude their uncontested divorce without a lot of trouble find themselves extremely frustrated.

I am very open and honest with individuals I meet with who ask me whether they really need us to be involved in their undisputed case. My answer is always “Yes,” but with a rationale explanation.

Nothing we do as attorneys amounts to rocket science. I tell folks that I know nothing about engines. Certainly, I can take the time to find my Toyota manual and dig through it for step-by-step guidance on how to change the oil in my car. But, I would be left to wonder every time I turned on the key whether I did so appropriately. It is important to make sure that the oil is changed correctly. The results of doing so incorrectly can result in serious disaster. Personally, I would rather spend a few bucks and know that the job was done correctly the first time and that someone is there to make sure that if there is a problem it can be immediately addressed.

The same logic holds true in court - on a much larger scale. An attorney can make sure that all of the issues involved in your case are addressed in an appropriate manner. All of the "magic language" that the court is looking for will be included in the relevant documentation. Creative solutions can be offered to potential road blocks that you and your spouse may face. And, if a judge has trouble with the agreement you have submitted or the order you want the court to sign, a lawyer can fix it without incident.

As I mentioned earlier, our work in this area is not rocket science. But, it is serious enough to warrant the involvement of someone who can make sure that it is done promptly, efficiently and, most importantly, correctly. The adage is, indeed, true: You get what you pay for. Due diligence in hiring an attorney to assist you will help you avoid the countless traps that you will have to avoid in order to successfully bring your divorce to a conclusion.

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One of the more common questions I face from a potential client involves title to property - whether a car, boat, house, ATV, business, bank account or otherwise. They ask, "My spouse says that because my [insert the property interest] is not titled in my name, I am not entitled to any of it. Is that true?"

One highly unique aspect of family practice is the fact that the litigants, unlike basically all other lawsuits, often continue to speak with one another (and even live together) during litigation. Sometimes that can be productive - if the parties are discussing issues in good faith. Other times, one spouse is simply trying to play games and get inside the head of the other. My suggestion? Don't get your legal advice from your soon-to-be ex.

Here's the answer: Title to property is essentially meaningless in divorce court. Minnesota law defines marital property as anything accumulated by the parties during their marriage. Marital property is subject to equal division. The timing of the purchase, not the title, dictates the ownership interest for purposes of a divorce.

Of course, the law recognizes non-marital property, which is not subject to division. Non-marital property has a very specific definition. For the sake of this post, understand that nowhere in the definition of non-marital property is the concept of "marital title" addressed. Unless a piece of property was brought into the marriage by one spouse or received as a gift to one spouse but not the other during the marriage, the property at issue will likely be divided equally among the parties.

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Depending upon your point of view, you may or may not appreciate the fact that Minnesota law contains a presumption of sole physical custody. So many potential clients ask about that. I don't believe it is a question of whether the standard will change, but when the standard will change – based upon recent legislative activity and the progressive approaches that have been taken at the Hennepin County Family Justice Center in Minneapolis.

Fellow Minnesota divorce blogger Gerald O. Williams has published a nice article about the status of a bill in the 2008 Minnesota Legislature that relates to a modification of the sole physical custody presumption to a presumption of joint physical custody in divorce cases. The legislature has opted to refer the matter for a study.

This is certainly not the first time the legislature has looked at the issue. Part of the recent child-support reforms that were discarded was a new presumption of joint physical custody. It is evident that there are many, both in the public at large, and in the legislature, who believe it is time for a shift in thinking on this issue.

Practicing on the banks of the Mississippi River, we appear frequently in both Hennepin and Anoka County. Although the judiciary in Anoka County may claim otherwise, there is certainly a reputation that sticks for failing to award joint physical custody. One of the most frequently uttered statements in my initial consultations with individuals involves fathers telling me, “I live in Anoka County and I hear I don't stand a chance of custody.” 

With much less judicial hesitation, we obtain court orders awarding parents joint physical custody in Hennepin County. Many judges in Hennepin County, rightfully, explain to the parties that custody is nothing more than a label. They begin with the fundamental question of what the parenting schedule ought to look like. Once the schedule is established, they can call it whatever they want. They let the parties call the shots without much interference.

We represent a host of individuals who come to us in an attempt to resolve their divorce in uncontested manner. Quite often, these very civil and reasonable individuals are questioned quite heavily by an Anoka County judge about whether joint custody is really appropriate. This happened to a client just last week in Anoka. Mom and dad both wanted joint physical custody and lived 1/2 a mile apart. The judge told them he "wasn't buying it" and that joint physical custody agreements are an "easy way out." The parties couldn't believe it. You know I am going to remove that judge the next time I represent a client who seeks joint physical custody. How is it that a 30 yard swim across the Mississippi can yield such a different process when, in fact, statewide law is what dictates every divorce?

In the end, I'm not arguing for one result or another. Every case stands on its own. Rather, my position is that there ought to be consistency from county to county. But, given the legislative activity on point in recent years and given the success realized by Hennepin County on these issues, the time will come when the presumption of joint physical custody is alive and well.

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We have the responsibility to tell every potential client that we “aren't sure.” Now...how's that for building credibility with someone who wants to entrust their life with you for a bit?

The truth is that we really don't know how much a divorce is going to cost in the end. An attorney who tells you they do probably isn't being up front with you. A host of issues beyond our control play a part in every case. Much depends on what county your case is filed in, what the mindset of the opposing attorney is, who the judge is in your case and what issues are contested.

Divorce cases tend to fall into one of two categories: contested and uncontested. Most contested cases become an uncontested case at some point. 

Cases that are uncontested from the start are handled by our firm for a flat fee. We charge a flat rate of $1,750 for uncontested cases without children and $2,250 for uncontested cases with children. There is a slight difference because cases with children involve more drafting and a court appearance. These quoted fees cover all aspects of your case: phone calls, meetings, negotiation, drafting, revisions and court appearances. In addition, we pay the court filing fee of $332 from the retainer paid to the firm. Usually another lawyer is not involved. 

Contested cases are much more difficult to value. Your case has a 95% probability of settling before trial. The overall costs associated with the case depend greatly on the point in time your case is resolved. With contested cases, we require an initial retainer paid to the firm which is then placed into our client trust account. We draw on that money as we perform work on the file. The retainer is refundable, meaning if money remains following the conclusion of your case it is returned to you. On the other hand, if we use up the initial retainer and your case has yet to conclude, we require you to replenish the trust account in an amount equal to anticipated work on the file in the near future.

To offer a few examples, we have had contested cases settle after just one month of negotiation and the involvement of a couple of experts. The total fees in that case were approximately $3,500.00 per side. On the other hand, we have had cases that were tried 18 months after they were filed with the District Court. Trial lasted about a week. Issues including domestic abuse, child custody and parental alienation were involved. Numerous experts were retained. The fees and costs in that complex, disputed case totaled over $35,000.

We take a commonsense approach to family cases. The $35,000 trial-destined to actions make up very small share of the cases we handle. The vast majority cost far less, as long as the parties are willing to be reasonable and flexible when it comes time to make the tough decisions. While we can't answer the ultimate question of how much your case will cost (unless it is uncontested) we hope the foregoing information provides some sort of guidance for you as you prepare to budget for your divorce.

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Every person going through divorce will face one fundamental decision time and again: Do I compromise or do I stand firm in my position? Certainly there are times for both. As often as possible, however, we recommend taking the high road and giving a little of yourself for the greater good of your family. This may not seem like good advice coming from a divorce lawyer. After all, isn’t it our job to stand and fight to the bitter end with sharp claws and gnashing teeth (have you seen those silly attorney yellow pages ads yet...the ones with growling grizzly bears and wolves featured prominantly)? Each case requires a little different approach.

At this point in time, compromising probably doesn't seem like the best thing to do for yourself. Nor is it the best for your lawyer's pocketbook. But, a lawyer who truly has your interests in mind will attempt to position your case for settlement and speak with you about how to approach a case in a sensible manner rather than unnecessarily drive up the costs of your case through contentious litigation. We often say that any fool (referencing the attorney) can turn a $3,000 case into a $30,000 case. Aggressive lawyering typically yields greater fees and much of the time it simply isn't necessary. 

Unfortunately, in some cases we can do nothing but litigate. We've been there many times and enjoy trying cases. This entry is not intended for parties who have been victims of severe domestic violence or whose children are in danger while in the care of their other parent. In those situations, and others, we must take a very aggressive approach. However, the vast majority of cases do not involve such situations and can be resolved much less expensively (in terms of dollars, time and emotions) in a manner that is consistent with what the court will ultimately do with the case if asked to decide. 

Consider how your soon-to-be-ex feels about things. Think about your children. Discuss solutions that work for everyone involved in the case, not just you. Most importantly, it is irresponsible to intentionally create or fuel ongoing conflict during a divorce. In our experience, clients who are bitter, angry and relentless in their approach wind up hurting themselves and living with much more pain than those who come to the table with a sense of flexibility and reasonableness. We find they are also far less satisfied with the legal process.

We are not suggesting the divorce process will be easy for you. Everyone knows that it is very difficult to make reasoned decisions in the middle of an emotionally charged situation. It is our job to help with that. We understand you may hurt because of infidelity, irresponsible spending on the part of your spouse or chemical dependency issues. But, the bottom line is that the court does not care about such things, unless they have a direct impact on the welfare of the children. For that reason, it is important to focus on the things that do matter to the ultimate decision-maker in your case.

We find the couples who resolve their case through settlement feel much better about the result. They own the agreement. They haven't been told what they are going to do some person in a black robe. They conclude their case in a much shorter time frame than expected. They have more financial resources to draw on in the future. And, most importantly, their children seem to benefit from the fact that their parents, despite the dissolution, have found a way to work things out. The experts agree that divorce is a very stressful and difficult time for the litigants. But, those same experts also agree that it is even more stressful and painful for children. The longer your case lasts, the more harm will be done to your children.

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The Minnesota Supreme Court has published a set of recommendations concerning parenting time. These are not binding legal authority, but take into account all facets that must be examined in determining what a "good" parenting plan involves. Here is what the Court has to say about parenting time and teenagers:

Developmental Tasks

During the early stage of adolescence, children continue the process of establishing their identity and self-worth. Through this process, and with guidance from their parents, they establish a sense of self in relationship to the rules and regulations of society. Adolescents also begin the process of separating from their parents, during which they may mourn the loss of childhood, dependency, and protection within the family. During this stage, adolescents gain academic and/or athletic prowess, make and sustain friendships, continue the process of gender identification, and begin to explore intimate relationships.

During the later stages of adolescence, young adults continue the process of establishing their independence. They continue the development of loyal friendships, begin to develop a work ethic, and begin to develop aspirations. Young adults also continue the process of gender identification and management of sexual impulses. Adolescents need the support and involvement of both parents. Adolescents may be embarrassed or angry about their parents' relationship. They may begin to have doubts about their own relationships with family members and peers, causing them either to focus too much on relationships or to withdraw from relationships. Adolescents may also inappropriately act out by using drugs or by engaging in sex or other unhealthy behaviors to attain a sense of belonging.

Parenting Time Considerations

It is important for parents of adolescents to maintain the child's accessibility to school, peers, extracurricular and community activities from both homes. It is also important for each parent to consistently apply the family rules of their own household.

Adolescents may need to be with friends more than with their family and, therefore, may resist a rigid parenting time schedule. Parents will need to exercise greater flexibility, adapted to the increasing ability of the child to take care of his or her own needs. There will also need to be greater flexibility adapted to the child's preferences -- an adolescent should not be forced to comply with a parenting time schedule about which the child had no input. To accomplish this, parents should consider the child's wishes and decide parenting time issues with the child.

Many adolescents benefit from a primary home base, with specific evenings, weekends, and activities at the other home scheduled on a regular and predictable basis. Other adolescents, however, may be comfortable spending equal time with each parent, including up to two weeks at each residence. Adolescents may be comfortable with one to three weekends of parenting time per month, depending upon the child's schedule, distance, and capacity to travel. The noncustodial parent should maintain contact with the child's teachers and attend the child's performances and other important events. Parents who live far apart should establish, with input from the child, a permanent schedule with some built-in flexibility.

What Parents Can Do to Help

Parents of adolescents can help by:

• Developing a parenting time schedule by working with the child;
• Establishing a predictable schedule that is flexible enough to allow for the child's activities;
• Consistently applying family rules and expectations; and
• Avoiding the assumption that a child's mood swings or behavioral acting out is caused by the other parent.

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The Minnesota Supreme Court's publication entitled "A Parental Guide to Making Child-Focused Parenting Time Decisions" offers the following advice when dealing with elementary school-age children:

Developmental Tasks

Elementary school age children are learning to develop relationships and cooperate with peers and adults. At this age, children establish foundations for academic and athletic skills. Self-esteem, self-worth, moral development, and personal security are issues for this age group. Elementary school age children identify with and model the activities of the parent who is the same sex as the child. Children also become aware of their parents as individuals, often fear the loss of parents, and feel sadness and anger because of their parents' divorce or separation. Self-blame, depression, and attempts to reunite parents are not uncommon in this age group. Children need parental assistance in learning organizational skills.

Parenting Time Considerations

While many elementary school age children benefit from a primary home base, children at this stage of development can also benefit from spending longer periods of time with their noncustodial parent, assuming that they have developed and maintained a close relationship with that parent. Children of this age may be comfortable being away from their custodial parent on a regular basis for parenting time lasting two to three days and for longer periods during school breaks and summer vacation. The more time a child has spent with the noncustodial parent, the more comfortable the child will be spending time away from the child’s home base. For younger children of this age group, frequent parenting time (at least once per week) with their noncustodial parent is desirable. As a child matures, longer parenting time with fewer transitions may be preferred.

What Parents Can Do to Help

Parents can help their elementary school age children by:

• Establishing and following a predictable parenting time routine;
• Gradually changing the frequency and increasing the duration of parenting time;
• Encouraging and assisting in phone and letter contact with the other parent
• Avoiding criticism about the other parent and others in the home;
• Informing teachers of any stress the child is experiencing and getting help for school-related problems; and
• Encouraging and assisting the child to maintain contact with school, friends, and extracurricular and community activities.

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We often find that our clients are interested in resolving their cases as promptly as possible.  With that in mind, we have designed a rather efficient system for handling uncontested divorces. Typically, an uncontested case will reach conclusion within 60 to 90 days from the date we are retained.  The following step by step timetable is offered to all of our new uncontested divorce clients as a guide for them to understand what they can expect in terms of case progress:

• Conference call with client within one week of receiving client questionnaire.
• Preliminary marital termination agreement (MTA) to client within one week of conference call.
• Client dictated edits and revisions to MTA completed within one week.
• Opposing party dictated edits and revisions to MTA completed within one week.
• Remaining pleadings drafted within one week of approval of MTA from opposing party.
• Meet with parties within one week of completion of all remaining pleadings.
• File with the district court within one day from execution of all pleadings by parties.
• Judicial assignment notice received within two weeks from filing.
• Schedule hearing, if necessary, within one day from receipt of judicial assignment notice.
• Attend hearing as scheduled by court (usually 30-60 days) or await signed order (usually 30-60 days).*
• Notice of Filing drafted and mailed within one week from receipt of final order.

*Of all the tasks associated with completing an uncontested dissolution, the one which we have absolutely no control over are Court timelines. We hope for a timely hearing or signature upon the Order. Sometimes, we receive Orders or have hearings within just a few weeks from filing. Other times, unfortunately, we have waited over 90 days because of Court traffic. Patience on your part during this time is critical and you should not make any plans that require you to be single (such as getting re-married ) until a signed Order is received by the Court.  

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A publication entitled "A Parental Guide to Making Child-Focused Parenting Time Decisions." has been produced by the Minnesota Supreme Court. It establishes no law, but does offer helpful recommendations when creating a parenting time schedule. The report was drafted by the judiciary and local child psychology experts. Here are their recommendations for parenting time with pre-schoolers up to 5 years of age:

Developmental Tasks

Preschoolers continue to increase their sense of individuality. They make significant gains in their verbal skills and become more likely to express their feelings. Preschoolers also develop a greater sense of curiosity and exploration, and increase their abilities to imagine and fantasize. Children at this developmental stage may think they are responsible for their parents' divorce or for their parents not living together. They fear abandonment and may fantasize that their parents will reunite. Their sense of security is affected by predictable and consistent routines.

Parenting Time Considerations

Routine and consistent parenting time schedules are very important. For parents who live far apart, it is usually best for the child if the noncustodial parent travels to the residential area of the other parent. This may mean that parenting time takes place in the home of the custodial parent or in a nearby location where the child feels comfortable. During this stage, children may be comfortable with longer parenting time periods, including overnights. For younger children, overnights should be limited to no more than one night per week. Older preschoolers may be able to have additional overnights and lengthier parenting time. Assuming the child has an ongoing relationship with the noncustodial parent, vacation time may be appropriate. Weekend parenting time that is increased gradually may help preschoolers to make the transition to an extended vacation time. Transitions are easier if children bring with them personal objects, such as blankets, stuffed animals, photos, or memorabilia of the parent. Because preschoolers have improved verbal and comprehension skills, it is important for parents to avoid speaking disrespectfully about the other parent or about others in the home.

What Parents Can Do to Help

Parents can help their preschoolers by:

• Establishing a consistent, predictable, and routine parenting time schedule;
• Gradually increasing the length of parenting time, working up to overnights;
• Sending along personal objects, such as blankets, stuffed animals, and photos of the parent; and
• Avoiding criticism about the other parent and others in the home.

 

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The Minneapolis Star Tribune published an interesting article entitled "Strains of War Showing on Army's Soldiers, Equipment, Readiness to Fight." Pauline Jelinek of the Associated Press writes, "Though separate data reported on divorce rates appeared to be holding steady last year, soldiers say they are having more problems with their marriages due to the long and repeated separations."  Read the entire Minneapolis Star Tribune Article concerning military families and the effect the Iraq War is having.

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The Minnesota Supreme Court has published a useful and informative publication entitled "A Parental Guide to Making Child-Focused Parenting Time Decisions." Though not established law, it does provide persuasive authority for a particular position that mirrors the recommendations within the report. The report is a product of the judiciary and respected child psychologists. Here are their recommendations for parenting time with infant and toddlers up to 2.5 years of age:

Developmental Tasks

The primary developmental tasks of infants include establishing a sense of trust in their environment and the people around them, forming an effective attachment with at least one primary parent who consistently and promptly responds to their needs, becoming comfortable with others who interact with them, and making their needs known through crying or other signals. Infants and toddlers need frequent contact with both parents and they do not cope well with numerous changes to their schedules or routines. At approximately six months, a child begins to make strong distinctions between primary caregivers and others, which may result in the beginnings of separation anxiety. Parents of infants begin to bond with their children and to recognize their children's signals regarding their need for food, comfort, sleep, and nurturance.

As children grow from infants to toddlers, their developmental tasks include: an increasing sense of self-awareness, the beginnings of a sense of independence, the beginnings of speech development, and an increasing ability to provide self-comfort and self-regulation in sleeping, feeding, and toileting. In addition, the parent’s process of bonding with the child continues as children grow into toddlers.

Parenting Time Considerations

Parents of infants should establish a parenting time schedule that is consistent, predictable, and routine in nature. Depending upon the noncustodial parent's availability and caregiving history, the noncustodial parent of an infant should have short (one to three hour) but frequent (two to three times per week) parenting time during the day or early evening. As the child grows from infant to toddler and becomes more comfortable with separation from the custodial parent, the duration of parenting time should increase. For parents who live far apart, the noncustodial parent of an infant or toddler should travel to the residential area of the custodial parent. This may mean that parenting time takes place in the home of the custodial parent or in a nearby location where the child feels comfortable. It is important for parents of infants and toddlers to establish one nighttime caregiver. Overnight and extended parenting time may not be appropriate for infants and toddlers. However, children who are able to make smooth transitions between homes, or who have older sisters or brothers to accompany them on parenting time, may be comfortable with overnight and extended parenting time.

What Parents Can Do to Help

Parents can help their infants and toddlers by:

• Establishing a consistent, predictable, and routine parenting time schedule;
• Interacting with the child in a location where the child feels secure and comfortable;
• Gradually increasing the duration of parenting time;
• Moving to overnight and extended parenting time only when the child is able to make a smooth transition between parental homes; and
• Sending along personal objects, such as blankets, stuffed animals, and photos of the parent.

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The Minnesota Supreme Court has published a series of recommended practices in order to prioritize the health of children going through a divorce. We provide a short list here, and invite you to read in much more detail by choosing the link that follows.

Here are the suggestions, in a nutshell:

• Keep Children Out of the Middle;
• Establish a Workable Means of Communication;
• Resolve Conflict Quickly;
• Separate Parenting Time and Child Support;
• Respect Parent-Child Relationships;
• Facilitate Transition from One Parent to the Other;
• Encourage Telephone and Other Contact;
• Establish Similar Household Routines;
• Provide Child's Belongings;
• Support Contact with Grandparents and Extended Family;
• Facilitate Temporary Schedule Adjustments;
• Accomondate Vacation Plans; and
• Establish a Routine for Picking Up and Dropping Off
  

Continue Reading...

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When people mediate, they bring their conflict to a place where they try to settle their dispute. To assist with the process, an impartial third person, or "mediator" helps them reach an agreement. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions. Rather, he or she should be fair to all parties and help them find a solution.

More and more individuals are trying to resolve disputes through mediation. While this process can occur without the assistance of professionals, sometimes problems arise, and individuals need to seek counsel or advice. Often during divorce, individuals need to work out one or many problems with the other spouse. When they ask a mediator to help them solve a problem, they buy into a process that allows a trained third party to use facilitative skills to help them resolve their conflicts.

In certain situations, courts will require couples to mediate. This is called court ordered mediation. A judge may order couples to mediate certain issues that are difficult to resolve. For resolving parenting time conflicts, a judge has the discretion to assign an expediter to help couples set up a visitation schedule for their children.

When couples seek mediation voluntarily or by court order, they are trying to resolve some routine problems that come up in divorce. Problems that people bring to mediation may include visitation, child support, parenting responsibilities, spousal maintenance (alimony), property division, debt division, and/or division of financial assets. The opportunity to mediate allows parties to take the time to address all their concerns and, with the mediator's help, to reach a workable compromise.

People often prefer to mediate rather than go to trial. Individuals may mediate before separation, and before, during and after the divorce process. In fact, a final divorce decree can state that for future conflicts, parties agree to first seek mediation to resolve problems that come up after their divorce is final.

Mediation may not be a good choice if: 

• A person or his/her children have been verbally, physically, emotionally or sexually abused by the other person;
• One person fears the other person or doesn't trust the other party to be fair or honest ;
• One person is not ready emotionally to mediate;
• The mediator is not treating either party fairly;
• One person has difficulty making decisions; or
• There is a power imbalance the mediator cannot neutralize.

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Although divorce is quite common in our society, we understand that you probably haven't been through it before.  Perhaps the most difficult decision in the entire divorce process is the one that you will make prior to contacting an attorney - the decision to dissolve your marriage.

Once you have determined this is the appropriate step for you to take, you may find yourself puzzled about where to turn. It is likely that you will speak with several attorneys to get a sense of the various approaches they may take in your case and to see if their personality is compatible with yours. At some point, you'll need to decide whether meeting with an attorney as part of an initial consultation is right for you.

We have the privilege of meeting with potential clients quite regularly. During our free initial consultation we try to gather some basic facts about your situation, provide some guidance as to the options that you may face, what the costs and timeframes are with each option and answer any questions you may have about the divorce process, our qualifications to handle the case and our opinion about the merits of your situation. Of importance, we determine together whether it is most appropriate to treat your case as a contested matter or an uncontested dissolution. 

A typical consultation lasts approximately 30 minutes and takes place in our office or over the telephone.  All information shared within the consultation remains strictly confidential and cannot be shared with anyone.

Toward the end of the consultation, we try to get a sense of where you are at with things.  Many of the folks we meet with are just trying to get a broad perspective on what is to come, while others are ready to proceed with the action itself. We are not here to put pressure on anybody. However, if a potential potential client is ready to retain the services of our firm, we provide them with an in-depth client questionnaire to complete and return to us at their convenience.  This allows us to have the key information necessary to properly represent them as we move forward.

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Minnesota is a no-fault divorce state. A divorce will be granted in Minnesota without the necessity of proving that one of the parties is guilty of marital misconduct. In earlier times, a party to a divorce was required to demonstrate that the other spouse was at fault for causing a breakdown in the marriage. Adultory was by far the most common basis, but others included domestic abuse, abandonment and an inability to consumate the marriage.

Today, a party to a divorce in Minnesota must merely demonstrate that there has been an "irretrievable breakdown" in the marital relationship. One spouse must simply acknowledge as much, and the court will grant their request to dissolve the marriage. A relatively low threshold - and a tough pill to swallow for those who feel that there is no "justice" in their case unless the court takes into account marital misconduct.

Potential clients often ask, "Should I fight the divorce?" Yes, if you intend to do so outside of the legal arena through counseling or therapy. Once it is obvious that the marriage cannot be saved, your resistence should be limited to that which is necessary to obtain a favorable court order. Not wanting the divorce can be used as leverage against your spouse if they are anxious to conclude matters. Often, the impatient spouse will buy a quick resolution by making an extremely attractive settlement offer. This strategy should be balanced against overdoing it. If you are fighting the dissolution process out of anger or spite, you are likely to cause significant economic and emotional harm to you, your spouse and your children.

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