• Child Custody;
• Parenting Time
• Child Support;
• Property Valuation;
• Property Division;
• Debt Division;
• Spousal Maintenance; and
• Attorney's Fees

Depending upon the preference of the mediator, and the parties, the mediator may work with the participants in one large group, or may bounce back and forth between two conference rooms.

The mediators that we utilize are experienced family practitioners with specialized training in alternative dispute resolution. Fees for mediation are typically split between the parties. Mediators charge an hourly rate for their services.

Mediation is a much less expensive option than traditional litigation, and leaves the parties in control of the case outcome. The case may be resolved much quicker and the relationship between ex-spouses tends to be much more respectful after reaching a collective settlement. Children are the direct beneficiaries of this improved level of communication.

For these reasons, we strongly encourage our clients to participate in the mediation process. Our commitment to those we represent involves taking the least expensive road to resolution first. Certainly, if we can't settle a case, we're prepared to take it to trial. But, most clients appreciate our common sense approach to concluding the dissolution process. 

Truth be told, the Court wants nothing to do with dividing items of personal property of nominal value. If parties can't agree on how to divide "the stuff" the judge will simply order everything auctioned and divide the sale proceeds. As you might expect, at auction you'll receive perhaps ten cents on the dollar. We're talking garage sale prices. Then, you, and your spouse, will have to turn right around and purchase another iron, toaster, DVD player and living room set. Makes little sense.

The good news is that there are tried and true processes that we have utilized in assisting couples through the division of "stuff." Here's what has worked for our clients:

• Two Lists: One of you makes two lists of items, of roughly equal value. The lists are presented to the other. The person who didn't draft the lists gets to pick which list they want. There is an incentive for the person drafting to fairly and equitably divide things or they'll get burned during the selection process.
• Silent Auction: This is my favorite. A master list of all of your personal property is created. Each party blindly puts a dollar value next to each item. The high bid takes the item at the value listed. Once all items are bid on, the totals for each party are added up. The party receiving the higher dollar value pays the other a cash equalizer to make up the other's shortfall. Parties are free to place a high value on items they really want, but won't list a ridiculous bid out of fear of paying a large offset.
• Arbitration: An arbitrator is basically a private judge. You pay this person, usually a lawyer, to listen to your side of things in an informal conference setting. Then, your spouse does the same. The arbitrator is given the authority to divide the entire list of items as they deem fair and equitable. Costs are saved because the parties attend the arbitration without counsel and divide the arbitrator's fee. Most couples submit to binding arbitration so that the decision of the arbitrator is final.
• Rotating Lists: Make a master list and take turns going back and fourth until all of the personal property is divided. Flip a coin to see who goes first.

The bottom line is that usually the personal property of the parties isn't worth the money that will be spent fighting over it. It's true...we've been caught in the middle of disputes over Christmas ornaments, but not by choice. By the time all was said and done, both parties could have purchased a collection of new decor with the legal fees they would have saved by putting down the swords and agreeing to a process that would fairly, and cost-effectively, get the issue of personal property division resolved.

At this point in time, compromising probably doesn't seem like the best thing to do for yourself. Nor is it the best for your lawyer's pocketbook. But, a lawyer who truly has your interests in mind will attempt to position your case for settlement and speak with you about how to approach a case in a sensible manner rather than unnecessarily drive up the costs of your case through contentious litigation. We often say that any fool (referencing the attorney) can turn a $3,000 case into a $30,000 case. Aggressive lawyering typically yields greater fees and much of the time it simply isn't necessary. 

Unfortunately, in some cases we can do nothing but litigate. We've been there many times and enjoy trying cases. This entry is not intended for parties who have been victims of severe domestic violence or whose children are in danger while in the care of their other parent. In those situations, and others, we must take a very aggressive approach. However, the vast majority of cases do not involve such situations and can be resolved much less expensively (in terms of dollars, time and emotions) in a manner that is consistent with what the court will ultimately do with the case if asked to decide. 

Consider how your soon-to-be-ex feels about things. Think about your children. Discuss solutions that work for everyone involved in the case, not just you. Most importantly, it is irresponsible to intentionally create or fuel ongoing conflict during a divorce. In our experience, clients who are bitter, angry and relentless in their approach wind up hurting themselves and living with much more pain than those who come to the table with a sense of flexibility and reasonableness. We find they are also far less satisfied with the legal process.

We are not suggesting the divorce process will be easy for you. Everyone knows that it is very difficult to make reasoned decisions in the middle of an emotionally charged situation. It is our job to help with that. We understand you may hurt because of infidelity, irresponsible spending on the part of your spouse or chemical dependency issues. But, the bottom line is that the court does not care about such things, unless they have a direct impact on the welfare of the children. For that reason, it is important to focus on the things that do matter to the ultimate decision-maker in your case.

We find the couples who resolve their case through settlement feel much better about the result. They own the agreement. They haven't been told what they are going to do some person in a black robe. They conclude their case in a much shorter time frame than expected. They have more financial resources to draw on in the future. And, most importantly, their children seem to benefit from the fact that their parents, despite the dissolution, have found a way to work things out. The experts agree that divorce is a very stressful and difficult time for the litigants. But, those same experts also agree that it is even more stressful and painful for children. The longer your case lasts, the more harm will be done to your children.
 

Today, a party to a divorce in Minnesota must merely demonstrate that there has been an "irretrievable breakdown" in the marital relationship. One spouse must simply acknowledge as much, and the court will grant their request to dissolve the marriage. A relatively low threshold - and a tough pill to swallow for those who feel that there is no "justice" in their case unless the court takes into account marital misconduct.

Potential clients often ask, "Should I fight the divorce?" Yes, if you intend to do so outside of the legal arena through counseling or therapy. Once it is obvious that the marriage cannot be saved, your resistence should be limited to that which is necessary to obtain a favorable court order. Not wanting the divorce can be used as leverage against your spouse if they are anxious to conclude matters. Often, the impatient spouse will buy a quick resolution by making an extremely attractive settlement offer. This strategy should be balanced against overdoing it. If you are fighting the dissolution process out of anger or spite, you are likely to cause significant economic and emotional harm to you, your spouse and your children.