Elementary School Students: Minnesota Supreme Court Parenting Time Suggestions
The Minnesota Supreme Court's publication entitled "A Parental Guide to Making Child-Focused Parenting Time Decisions" offers the following advice when dealing with elementary school-age children:
Developmental Tasks
Elementary school age children are learning to develop relationships and cooperate with peers and adults. At this age, children establish foundations for academic and athletic skills. Self-esteem, self-worth, moral development, and personal security are issues for this age group. Elementary school age children identify with and model the activities of the parent who is the same sex as the child. Children also become aware of their parents as individuals, often fear the loss of parents, and feel sadness and anger because of their parents' divorce or separation. Self-blame, depression, and attempts to reunite parents are not uncommon in this age group. Children need parental assistance in learning organizational skills.
Parenting Time Considerations
While many elementary school age children benefit from a primary home base, children at this stage of development can also benefit from spending longer periods of time with their noncustodial parent, assuming that they have developed and maintained a close relationship with that parent. Children of this age may be comfortable being away from their custodial parent on a regular basis for parenting time lasting two to three days and for longer periods during school breaks and summer vacation. The more time a child has spent with the noncustodial parent, the more comfortable the child will be spending time away from the child’s home base. For younger children of this age group, frequent parenting time (at least once per week) with their noncustodial parent is desirable. As a child matures, longer parenting time with fewer transitions may be preferred.
What Parents Can Do to Help
Parents can help their elementary school age children by:
- Establishing and following a predictable parenting time routine;
- Gradually changing the frequency and increasing the duration of parenting time;
- Encouraging and assisting in phone and letter contact with the other parent
- Avoiding criticism about the other parent and others in the home;
- Informing teachers of any stress the child is experiencing and getting help for school-related problems; and
- Encouraging and assisting the child to maintain contact with school, friends, and extracurricular and community activities.
